Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
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