its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
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