Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
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