the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
