Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
