how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
