I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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