We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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