I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize