Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
