nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Randomize
