My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Randomize
