Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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