well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
