are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
