This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
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