Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
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