I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Randomize
