Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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