I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
