Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
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I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
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I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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