Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
