I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
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