Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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