This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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