...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I need to wash the frat house off of me
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
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