stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
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