you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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