I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
