Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
