We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
