I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
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