That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
