yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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