I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
