onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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