I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
