Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Randomize
