I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
