Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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