i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
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