69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
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