So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Randomize
