Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
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