oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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