Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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