so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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