help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
When are your genitals available?
i am craving dick and cupcakes
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