That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize
