You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
