Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
