Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Fine. I'll sleep in my office
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Randomize
