There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
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