Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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