thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Randomize
