I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Randomize
