When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
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