We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
