my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
